Xanadu
by Summersetlights
Summary: When Eli's writing becomes impersonal, Ms. Dawes encourages him to find his "Xanadu". /complete fluff/


**_Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi!_**

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><p><em>Mr. Goldsworthy,<em>

_I've noticed that your writing has become very distant over the past couple of weeks._

_Stay after class for about five minutes today. I would like to discuss some things with_ you.

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Elijah Goldsworthy sighed and glanced at the digital clock on the wall of his English classroom. The note attached to his graded paper was becoming harder to ignore. Usually, he'd be happy that there was only five minutes left of the class, but he wasn't today. He did like Ms. Dawes, but he wasn't in the mood to be lectured about how his writing was becoming distant. What? He had given her writing from his heart in the beginning of the year and he just needed a break from all the lovey-dovey, sickly feelings.

Was a break too much to ask for?

He didn't think so.

Eli rolled his eyes and groaned lightly, only loud enough for him to hear. He glanced at the clock and almost threw up when he saw the time. Only a minute. Not even. Great. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, his heavy eyelids slowly clasping shut as he ignored the troubling feeling bubbling up inside of him.

Elijah Goldsworthy was slowly becoming nothing but empty space.

Or, it seemed that way, anyway.

He felt himself becoming part of the walls and floors. He was sinking quickly and he didn't know how to become solid again. He was a simple machine, like most humans are. If one part doesn't work right, nothing really works right. It's almost like the domino effect. Broken heart? Oh, that'll lead to not eating (or eating too much), feeling depressed, and just feeling like shit.

That's Elijah Goldsworthy's life.

He became anti-social. Which, was not hard to become when you're him. _She_ was out of the picture, much to Eli's dismay. And Adam was simply being Adam and apparently he had a new love interest.

And Eli couldn't make his best friend hang out with him because he was "Depressed over a girl".

As tempting as it sounded, Eli knew that it wouldn't be fair.

Eli was slipping through the cracks and he didn't know how to fix it up. He wasn't sure how to save himself. So inch by inch, second by second, day by day, Eli slipped further and further of the dark abyss. And he didn't know what the dark abyss contained. And the more he slipped, the more he wanted to be saved.

But then, a part of him didn't want to be saved.

And he knew that Ms. Dawes would try to save him.

When the bell rang, his head snapped up and he winced at the sharp pain that struck through his neck. Students packed up with enthusiasm. They were lucky. They could walk out right now, the sun on their shoulder. While he, he had a whole goddamn thunderstorm on his back.

It didn't seem fair.

But, then again, life isn't fair.

Eli stood up finally and turned around to look at the clock, but what he found was a much better sight.

Clare Edwards.

The girl that still has his heart? The one that makes him feel jittery inside? The one that is looking at him with an expression that he can't seem to place?

Yeah. That's her.

When their eyes locked together, Clare gasped and turned around swiftly, and then ran out the door. Eli found himself smiling at the sight. The way her cheeks flushed with a red so delectable made his stomach turn and lurch violently. And especially when she gasped. Her cute little-

"Mr. Goldsworthy?" Ms. Dawes broke through his train of thought and he sighed, obviously annoyed, "Can you some here, please? Don't think that I couldn't tell that you were going to sneak out." She said smugly and looked at him with a look that only adults possess.

"You caught me," Eli mocked and walked slowly to her desk, his feet dragging, "You wrote something about my writing?" Eli mentioned and grabbed the note that was attached to his graded essay.

"Yes," She said, nodding her head, "I've just noticed that lately, within the past couple of weeks, your writing has become very impersonal. And don't get me wrong, your writing is still excellent, but it's missing that little Goldsworthy tick, you know? I miss your sarcastic and witty, and sometimes cynical essays."

"I'm sorry," Eli answered almost automatically; a reflex, "I guess that I just-"

"Have you ever heard of the word Xanadu?" She interrupted, almost like he wasn't even talking. Eli simply stared at her in complete confusion, and she took that as a no; He had never heard of it, "Well, it's from this poem by Samuel T. Coleridge. Xanadu is a luxurious place."

Eli's eyebrows pulled together and he smirked, slightly amused. Only Ms. Dawes would relate that word to their conversation, "Okay?"

"When I'm writing, I pretend that I'm in a small meadow, with trees surrounding me and the sound of the river rushing through my ears," Ms. Dawes said quietly, her hands moving with every word she said, "That's my Xanadu."

Eli was still looking at her in confusion, he honestly don't know what she was getting at. "I still don't understand what you're saying." Eli admitted, he fingers raking through his thick hair.

"Sometimes a Xanadu can be a person."

Ah.

He knew where she was going with this.

"Look, I don't need a Xanadu. I don't. But thanks for telling me about it, I guess." Eli slowly inched backwards and clenched his school books in his arms. She knew. Of course she knew. She knew everything.

"Find your muse, is what I'm trying to say," Ms. Dawes said finally, resting her chin on her right hand, "Or...in your case...get your muse back."

And at that, Eli ran out of the room.

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What the hell.

That was the only thing that was going through Elijah Goldsworthy's mind as he ran. He was out of breath. (Between you and I, he isn't the most athletic.) And he was running through a familiar street.

Oh my God.

Eli was almost thankful for the change of words in his mind. He couldn't believe what he was doing. I mean, what could he say to her? "Oh, hey. You're my Xanadu." "Oh, Xanadu. That's just a weird term that Ms. Dawes taught me."

He couldn't say that. She'd think that he was absolutely off his rocker. But what else could he say? That was the truth.

Finally getting to her door, he slumped against the door, trying to calm his ragged breathing. He made a mental note to get in shape, and he knocked on her door lightly, his knuckles already hurting. A couple moments passed by and Eli waited anxiously. He still had his school books in his arms and the note from Ms. Dawes was burning a hole in his pocket.

Suddenly, a little too soon for Eli's taste, Clare Edwards opened the door. Her hair was up in a pony-tail and Eli couldn't help but gape at her.

"You're my Xanadu."

Fuck.

Eli mentally smacked himself. He said exactly what he told himself not to. Of course. Though, in a way, he wasn't surprised. He couldn't control his mouth and mind when Clare Edwards was near him.

But before Eli could explain, Clare spoke quietly, "Ms. Dawes talked to me too."

Eli opened and closed his mouth several times. But before Eli could even process a damn thing, he felt a pair of lips attack his own.

He felt her small hands wrap around the nape of his neck and he held her closer than ever before. Her sweet, lavender scent was making his mouth water. And the way she was whimpering in his mouth made him shudder. And the way her lips felt. Dear lord... They were smooth and soft, and so sweet. They tasted of some kind of candy. And Eli couldn't get enough.

Taking a step breath, Clare was gasping for air and once her breathing had slowed down, she looked straight into his eyes, "You're my Xanadu, too."

And Eli felt his rise up from the cracks and he knew that with her around, he'd never slip through again.

Clare Edwards was forever his Xanadu.

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><p><strong><em>...Well, I'm not sure if I like this, but Review! Please? :)<em>**


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